I'm here to tell a tale of mind-blowing products that actually work.

1. A vibrating alarm clock that'll use its extra-loud alarm, pulsating alert lights, and 12-volt shaker to get your ass out of bed in the morning and leave you ~shook~.

2. A pair of prism glasses so you can watch TV while laying flat to avoid straining your neck or read a book without holding your arms up. No more aches and pains from hours of Netflix binging or reading The Art of Tidying Up.

6. A tiny toenail brace that will fix big toenail problems. It'll flatten out your nail to take away the pain of of curved toenails and prevent it from becoming ingrown.

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